I've had some funny emails lately asking what I am up to with this blog, life, my time. Those that know me well know I love to write. It has always been a passion. I just suck at conforming so writing things like novels haven't quite made my list of to-do's yet. Too much structure for my chaotic life right now.
That said, I feel compelled to write this. Being away from the noise of the office and having had the summer at home with my kids, I've started to pay attention to myself. Specifically, that voice within myself. It's always been there, it's always talking to me telling me who I am meant to be, but sometimes it's too loud for me to really listen. I've decided now, at age 37, it's time to start listening. That voice is steering me towards the path I am meant to travel upon.
I LOVE fitness. It isn't so much about working out or the physical image part of it. It's the learning that takes place when you are working out that attracts me most. It is the first phase of a huge life long journey. If you let it anyhow. It will teach you that if you work for it, it WILL happen. Your effort will reflect your results. You cannot fail for trying. I love teaching others the same thing. That is what attracted me to becoming a personal trainer in the first place.
I used to (still do for that matter), notice women walking around looking down all the time. It was impossible to make eye contact with anyone as no one was looking up. What does that say about that person? Why don't they believe in themselves enough to look the world in the eye and say HI or whatever? What have we done that women don't seem to possess the confidence they should?
Women's self esteem takes a constant beating. Stand in line at a grocery store and just count how many images of women you see. Now see how many of them look like you (or me for that matter). Funny, but I don't see any giant jugs on ladies (except for the top row in convenience stores on mag's wrapped in plastic ha ha). It just doesn't reflect the reality of the world. So why then are so many women obsessed with trying to be who they will never be vs just trying to be their best selves?
This is where my voice comes in. I hear it telling me to return to the path I once began to travel upon, and look for another way. I truthfully won't have the luxury of time to train the women I want to. Or rather, I won't sacrifice my evenings or weekends with my kids to do it. So somehow, someway, I need to work towards reaching that audience and balance life. I know it can be done, it's just the "how" that I am working on.
I have a great job that I am due to return to in six months. Between now and then, I need to work out how I can juggle this calling, my career (which is in the initial stages - after fifteen years I think I have found what I am good at in terms of the office gig), and most importantly, my family. My hubby and my kids will never take a back seat to anything on my list. They need me just as much as I need them.
So, what am I doing then? Well first things first. I have to get moi into shape. And I am, one squat at a time. I am also starting to do what feels right, thus the second blog. I trulely believe we are all here to help one another. It isn't about doing things for money, it's about doing things to help people. So from one mom to another, I've learned a few tricks I'd like to share. If they weren't shared with me in the first place I would still be searching for answers as well. Thus the second blog.
Well, it looks like my writing time is up for today. My youngest monkey is chatting it up in her crib. Apparently nap time is over. Six months old today....where has it gone? Who knows but I'm glad it involves less screaming ha ha ha. I lost decades of life in a matter of months.
Be well.
Cheers.
N.
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