A Mom moment

This morning as my hubby slept (we are taking turns sleeping in during our vacation), the kiddos and I did Yoga in the basement.  Listening to the kids talk about how we are building muscle and getting strong made me feel so unbelievably proud. 

My now 6 yr old daughter has friends who talk about not wanting to be "fat" etc. which really upsets me. At this age those grown up thoughts should not be in their minds. Asking me how many calories there are and what makes you fat etc....bothersome! So I have been so careful to use words that are positive and healthy vs negative and harsh. I never talk about losing weight, just gaining strength and power. 

Having the two big kiddos moving into warrior positions etc., I felt myself smiling ear to ear.  This is just the beginning for us,  not just for me but as a family.  I am so lucky they are willing to play along!

Now only if we could get the hubby to get into a downward dog LOL....

Wishing you a wonderful workout and a great day,
N.

An update!

Yeesh, I've been slacking!  My family is on vacation together at the moment. This happens only twice per year as my hubby shuts down shop for the holidays and once in the summer.  To say the last week has been awesome would be an understatement. I'm really enjoying our time together.

I've been behaving in contrast to what the holidays should encompass.  I haven't OD'd on anything or dove too deeply off the deep end when opportunities present them self. I did have a kick ass dirty burger with fries yesterday during lunch with a favourite friend of mine, and, several billion glasses of wine over the past week.  But otherwise, not bad! I'm so impressed with myself!

Workout wise, not so good.  I've been sleeping. Which I desperately need.  So inconsistent would best describe my workouts. I"m ok with this though, I'm exhausted and I am seeing results. The workout layoff ends in the morning  however, I feel really good today.

I'm due for my pics this Friday, no problem! I know I have lost more in my back and look forward to when I can say the same is happening in the belly and boobs.  One push up at a time, IT WILL HAPPEN!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Cheers,
Nikki

A teenie tiny bit worn out....

Ok more like seriously worn out.

I fell asleep today sitting upright in a chair.  My big plan was to finish folding the laundry, workout and run errands. I folded laundry, sat for a second before I planned on putting it away. What felt like one milli second later I awoke to my daughter's voice in the baby monitor. She had awoken from her nap, and clearly so had I!

No workout today. I was and am bummed.  I am running on close to empty.  I have to listen to my body if I want this to work.... maybe next time I will listen vs have it just shut down on me.

That said, I'm still exhausted. I'm going to lie in bed and watch the Terra Nova finale and pass out with my hubby. Once upon a time we were wilder, but now, this is wild!

Goodnight!
Cheers,
Nikki

P90x pain...bringin it.

I cannot believe how many muscles I clearly haven't been using over the past few years.  I'm in (now completed) week 2 of the P90x program.  I am so so sore.

I like it.

I feel very alive this week. I am very aware of myself, mostly due to incredible muscle fatigue and tenderness but it's worth it. The end result is worth it.  My eating is going well, my workouts have been amazing.  It's been wonderful. 

Today I was not able to workout, but am ok with it.  Today was my daughter's 6th bday.  It was a crazy busy day but totally worth it. I just behaved diet wise. I have a plate of cupcakes about thirty feet away and I have yet to attack it.  It isn't worth it. I'm working way too hard. 

Don't get me wrong though,  my halo is somewhat tarnished by the giant glass of red wine that accompanies me at the computer desk at the moment.  I do so love my wine. I will sacrifice cupcakes and other seasonal temptations simply to make way for the caloric overdose from vino. 

I'm heading to bed now in hopes of a few uninterupted hours of sleep.  I'm also hoping for a full yoga workout in the morining. Fingers crossed.....

N.

Shape shifting bust...

Last night I was so pumped to be able to escape the chaos that is my house on a Saturday evening and attend a family wedding (hubby's side). This was a black tie affair and the kiddos were staying home with my parents.

We both bought new outfits and couldn't wait to get out.

I found myself actually a little shy to be putting on control top panty hose in front of my husband. We were in rush mode aka our normal.  My folks showed up late, my husband worked late and I had to bolt out to pick up my eldest from her friends bday party.  It was 5pm.  Antipasto starts at 5:30.  I hadn't showered yet and my husband wasn't even home.  Fast forward to after a fast shower, quick hair blow dry and racing to get dressed at 6pm. 

I tried on several dresses for this event. I felt like I was in a moo moo in all of them.  It's the boobs, they shoot the dress out five feet from my frame just trying to get around them.  So not flattering. So I went a different route, I bought a suit. A killer Marciano black totally gorgeous power suit.  Madden killer heels finished the outfit.  The blouse was fitted. My boobs are humongous, they def. looked humongous. NO hiding them. I wanted to wear a shape shifting aka spanx top for the not-yet-toned tummy.  I bought it, the rep picked the size for me after having sized me for a bra. She knew....she knew and yet she sold me a shape shifter that wouldn't go over my boobs.  I was totally stuck in it. My husband had to help me out! What do you do with that? Nothing. Laugh at yourself and put the blouse on. It just means perfect posture is required at all times or the rolls are busting out! That and no matter how hot it gets I am not taking off the jacket.  It hides much and looks awesome. 

I'm not getting any deeper with age.

In the end this was a huge motivator to behave all night (WINE EXCLUDED).  I have completed my first full week of P90x. I'm going to go the distance.  I didn't eat the creamy soup or the cheese laden pasta. I did eat (inhale and practically lick the plate of) the filet Mignon w/ asparagus and stuffed mushroom, as well as, the green salad with apple and parm. cheese.  I didn't eat desserts ( one bite size choc. chip cookie) from the huge dessert table.  I behaved.  I am going to do this!

I'm lucky to have a hubby that puts up with me during all of this...and who will remove the stuck spanx for me and not say a word. Bless him.

The beginning...and it's not pretty!

Well, here it is. The moment. The "before" moment.

I've been staring at these pics....for a couple of reasons. Sometimes it's hard to believe this is actually you, which I cannot believe it's actually me. And secondly, aside from the boobs and belly,  I am not off to a bad start! It's all prego related. As much as I am not liking what I see, I love why it happened. It was all worth it.  It's going to be worth getting rid of it, but the "why" factor, worth every moment.

This is me, 3 and a half pregnancies under my belt ( ze momma gutty belt naturally ha ha).... 7.5 months post partum.... at the very beginning of my P90x adventures.

I do feel fantastic AND I am enjoying this so much I am eating well.  I watched my family inhale swiss chalet french fries last night (treat night)...but not moi. I managed to make it through without spazing or suddenly lunging across the table to snort them before they could eat them.  I'm going to make it to this finish line with the results I want...I want it that bad.



i can't wait for this to be a thing of the past





Today my eldest is home in addition to my younger two monkeys. The upside, she and Ryan play and Rachel is thrilled to watch them. I can work out with a little less interruptions. Awesomeness!! Must boogie to get the kids to their swimming lessons...but when we return, workout time!

Make it a great day!
Cheers, and thanks for reading. 
Nic.

Some days good, some days.....yeeeesh.

I never would have imagined how much I am enjoying Yoga these days.  I love the way I feel during and after the workout.  It always seemed incredibly boring to me, slow...boring...so not my thing. I was really looking forward to today's workout.

One huge drawback to P90x is the duration of the workouts. You can do shorter more intense workouts and get amazing results, but I do enjoy this program. Today's workout is 92 minutes. It's bloody well impossible to pull it all off without interuptions.

Today was BRUTAL. I feel like more of a fire breathing dragon right now vs a calm yogi as I should. My son was relentless and there was no pleasing my daughter. To further annoy me, she is totally content as I type this right now in the very thing she was in then, however, screaming at that time.  Her jolly jumper.  I tried everything today. Play pen, mat, jolly jumper, exersaucer, floor play, chair time... she just refused to co-operate.  She was fed, clean, just wanted mom. And Mom just wanted a workout! I managed 45 minutes. Not bad, but four thousand interuptions later there was a serious lack of flow.

I guess there's always tomorrow, but was so looking forward to today.

Trying to applaud what I did pull off but wishing it was more.

I took the photo's. I will post them later on today once I find where my son hid the cord.  He thinks he's cute, he didn't notice mom has mutated into a fire breathing dragon yet...

At least tonight there will be wine with my hubby by the fire. I know, so not what someone who is looking to lean out should be doing...but life needs to be lived with balance...and wine. Lots and lots of it.

Cheers!!!

P90x.

I can hear this little voice inside my head telling me to get moving already.  For every minute I sit idle, someone else somewhere else is working harder than I am at achieving the same goal.  So I've been really pushing myself...and I honestly feel fantastic. 

It's been brutal though, the everyday workout.  That's the thing with P90x - you really do have to train as laid out for maximum results.  The TRX system I LOVE...but the co-ordinating b/w the two workouts is more than I have time for right now. I really, really need to just do as I am told. I am so distracted and so tired.

My workouts themselves are full of moments wherein my kids are vying for my attention.  If I can train first thing after dropping kids at school, I do. However, I've had to utilise that time to accomplish Christmas shopping. Secret missions!

SO I'm stuck working out usually just after lunch time. Brutal. My son is home in addition to my seven month old.  Yesterday my son really would have preferred if I watched him transform his transformers the entire workout while Rachel kept rolling herself across the room to get onto my mat.  I was constantly moving her back to her area ( the jumper proved more of an issue and she screamed in the playpen, this was third option).  She had alternate ideas as to how we were going to spend our time. I still managed to pull it off, just thinking Tony didn't envision these scenarios of his audience ha ha.  Rachel began screaming at me with about twenty minutes remaining in the workout. As I was exercising I was singing Mary had a little lamb while acknowledging my sons transformation of transformers.  It was just as tiring as the workout.  I almost made it - had 10 minutes to go and had to stop it to pick her up.  It's ok though.  I've decided to start applauding myself for what I could pull off vs focusing on what was still remaining to complete. I can only do what I can do, I just have to push myself in the time that I do have to get the most from it. 

I will get it done.

So now I have joined the P90x on line community for support, set myself up for success diet wise at home and begun recording my workouts/eating so as to track my success towards my goal.  This blog is also a big piece of my dedication. 

This pic I have attached is from 7 years ago.  It was taken this time of year.This shows my frame and so when I post my "before" shots from tonight, you will see exactly how much I have to lose. It's all in the boobs and the belly...the momma belly. I can't wait until it's gone!!!

Well my daughter is now bored with her exersaucer, my moment is over.
Until tomorrow!
Cheers.
N.

Phase Two begins....Phase One results.

Although I am pleased there are results to post, I feel like Phase One was a bit of a let down.  So much happened in 60 days.  My uncle/friend died,  my son had pneumonia, my seven month old suddenly decided to stop sleeping at night... I'm exhausted.  That said, I am also very motivated for this next chapter.

First and foremost,  the results:

My current measurements, as of yesterday:  at bellybutton, 34" - unchanged, at boobs 38" - unchanged (damn't!), back 32" - down an inch, thigh 19.5 - up a half inch - I take pride in this...I am gaining muscle again. My legs are becoming shaply vs pipecleaners, hips 36.5 - down half an inch, bicep 11 - again, totally proud of the mini muscle starting to show!

This rounds goals:  tighten le tummy, shrink the boobies and regain shape/muscle in arms and legs.  We have our first family vacation coming up in January. I would actually like to wear a non-tent-like bathing suit.  I can do this, six weeks.  Of course, it is the most brutal time of year to diet BUT the reward is worth the sacrifices. 

The new year will bring about a whole new series of things to focus on. Hiring a caretaker for my kids, recertifying myself as a personal trainer and re-establishing myself as a facilitator in my workplace. A year away from work is huge. It is so amazing to be home and to spend time with the kids, but the time away is a huge barrier to overcome upon your return. Someone else has totally benefitted from your absence in that they filled your shoes.  They may have really shone ( I've been replaced a few times over now, the ego has already been bruised).  The flip side is, it is an opportunity to recreate yourself. To be who you want to be and to chase what you want with renewed enthusiasm.  I am on a serious mission upon my return. I have very specific, mapped out goals targetting the next 5 years.  It will take an enormous amount of effort to get to where I want to be,  but it's worth it.

I am on the brink of creating the life I ultimately want to lead with my husband and children.  As is he. 

One step at a time.

This next step, moi.  Reclaiming and reconnecting with myself.  This phase will consist of resistance training almost exclusively. Yes, cardio is a good thing, but I am tight for time. Calorically, physically, my results will come if I kick my own ass in resistance training. I am tired, very tired and so I am sticking with following pre-set routines. This time around, P90x and TRX training only.  3-4 x's weekly.

My diet is changing this time around.  All breads, pasta's, rice... cutt off after fourth meal ( I eat 6 mini meals a day - starting at approx 7:45 am and every 2/5-3 hrs following.  On all days except Saturday and Sunday evenings (those are sacred snack nights with the hubby ha ha).  The last two meals of the day will be variances of a lean protein and greens.  I have started to get into making my own salad dressings from sunflower seeds/oils, fresh spices and oil/vinegrettes... it is helping to stay on track. Variety is essential! That and I don't want to send the wrong message to my kids. We eat the same foods. I have to ensure they are getting what they need while I am trying to scale back.  I believe firmly in us all eating at the same time, the same foods. 

I do not count calories. I go by how I feel.  If I eat balanced meals throughout the day, I'm fine. If I don't, I will binge afterwards.  I have found a balance that works for me and have learned to understand my bodies needs effectively. If I am totally starving, I've strayed from the path.  In that case, I have to bust out the cake plate vs dinner plate to ensure portion control.  And yes, I've learned to pile food pretty high on those small plates at times.  I am my own worst enemy in the food game. I love it. So ensuring consistant meals, consistant regulated servings all day long keep me from pulling into any fast food joint to buy everything they have, that minute.

Well, my time is up for today's blog. The oven timer is about to go off and I have several meals coming out all at once. Multi tasking, multi meal making day. Need to ensure the fridge is stocked with what we need so momma stays on target.  Roasted root veggies, a lasagna and banana loafs are coming out. Beef stew and a bean soup have already begun to cool off.  Smells kind of funky with so many things cooking at once ha ha ha BUT it is worth it.  Once less thing I have to do tomorrow, one more minute I can spend working out.

Be well.
Mad luv,
Nikki

9 days to go....

So how does one begin this time. Phase One is not going as planned, let's just start with that.

I woke up this morning with a caloric hangover. Seriously h u n g over. I attacked my kids Hallowe'en bowl last night.  Not just a little. There were wrappers and chip bags strewn all over the coffee table when my hubby returned from hockey. I had passed out.  I'm not painting a pretty picture of myself right now am I ha ha ha.

Yesterday was the cremation of my 44 yr old uncle who passed from cancer this week.  We grew up together and grew to be friends, not just family.  So yesterday seriously sucked.  I ate in between sob fests. 
Today, not feeling so hot! 

The kids are off school today for a PD day. This is a good thing.  Not always, but today it is.  They give great hugs, and, yell at you when you touch their candy bowl. 

I'm not measuring anything or doing anything until Monday. New week + kids back in school = fresh start.

This loss is also a great motivator.  My uncle was fit.  He worked out regularly and he ate really well.  Here's what I've learned through his battle;

1.There is a huge difference between organic and non-organic foods.  We ate identical diets. The days consisted of many salads, lean proteins, fruits and veggies.  One key take away was the need to change my families foods to organic as we consume all of the "dirty dozen" foods, as well as, hormone~probiotic~grain GMO fed meats.  We were ingesting a huge amount of pesticides/poisons.  There are many other factors that contribute to illness, but if I could prevent something for them, I will. Last night as I was sobbing over the candy bowl inhaling out of control volumes of tiny chocolate bars and regular Lays chips I realized, my kids aren't really eating this.    There was way too many candies left for this time of year.  I don't remember mine lasting long, I ate piles of it in a sitting. Hmmm, seems I haven't grown up much in that respect.  My kids don't crave it like I do.  They will ask for a banana with granola sprinkled on it before candy.  I think I've been keeping all these goodies around for me!   If I don't stop eating them my ass is going to explode into much larger jeans! I have to throw them out....
2. Get as much oxygen as you can.  Exercise.  Use what you were given and keep it alive.
3. Speak your mind. Share your emotions. Allow yourself to really feel all that life has to offer.  When you ignore things or fail to deal with things your body will react. 

I am actually really looking forward to Monday.

For now, I'm going to enjoy a date night with my hubby tonight ( I will likely inhale a  days worth of calories in vino alone hee hee hee, it's our first date night in well over a year! ), a weekend of playing with my kids and cooking the weekly meals on Sunday.  I bought a new food processor.  We may have twenty styles of salad this week just so I can use it more!

I have lost this month.  I'm down a pant size, which blew me away considering all that has happened.  The boobs, nada. AnNoYiNg.  The mission continues....

Be well.

Just because I love it....

Another week bites the dust...

One of my aunts recently said something to the effect of someone admiring the role of a stay-at-home-mom and the freedom they have all day, everyday.  What they didn't realize is this luxury comes in 7 minute increments.  So true! You think I would have re-strategized by now.  Hmmm. Food for thought ha ha ha.   I've been so distracted I haven't had time to really think about anything.  Writing this blog allows me that moment to focus on myself.  ME time, so sacred.  And it's hockey night.  I have a glass of wine sitting on my computer table. The kids are all asleep. Aside from the hack coming from my son's room, it's quiet in the house.  I love these moments.  I have Etta James playing.  Love, love, loving this moment. I could drop and do twenty...or just sit here and relish in this moment. You see what I've chosen....

SO how did this week go?  One totally awesome day.  Then, six totally stressful, exhausting, non-work out days. My four year old has pneumonia.  My six month old is cutting her first tooth. My five year old had her first fight at school.  I drank a lot of wine.  My elasticized track pants don't make me feel badly about myself. Tis why I am avoiding my jeans.

I'm due for my measurements, yesterday.  I will complete them and post them tomorrow. 

I knew this was going to be difficult, but it can be done.  I am so envious of those moms who have support networks. Mom's that come and take the kids ( my mom is special and would require a totally separate blog to discuss. Love her. We yap daily and enjoy each other.  She is one of my favorite people. But anyone out there who has a disabled brother/sister knows what that does to your mom. It makes her completely ex centric and focused on one thing and one thing only.  She means well, but just cannot be there the way even she wishes she could be.  Mum in law works).  Ahh well, life is what it is. So it all boils down to juggling what you've got and finding a way to make it work.

That's the other thing about having a disabled sibling.  You learn that there is no "can't", unless you really, really can't. It's "won't" . I won't let myself down, I know I can do it.   Every time I visit mum and B (my sister),  I return home with a new sense of drive.  If you've been given the ability to do anything, do something.  You were given these abilities for a reason.....

I could go on and on, or, I can log off and finish this glass of wine on the couch with my new book. The Forgotten Garden.  Any minute now anyone could wake up and end this tranquility....I must maximize on this moment.
Be well!
Cheers.

The Voice....

I've had some funny emails lately asking what I am up to with this blog, life, my time.  Those that know me well know I love to write.  It has always been a passion. I just suck at conforming so writing things like novels haven't quite made my list of to-do's yet.  Too much structure for my chaotic life right now.

That said, I feel compelled to write this.  Being away from the noise of the office and having had the summer at home with my kids, I've started to pay attention to myself.  Specifically, that voice within myself. It's always been there, it's always talking to me telling me who I am meant to be, but sometimes it's too loud for me to really listen.  I've decided now, at age 37, it's time to start listening. That voice is steering me towards the path I am meant to travel upon.

I LOVE fitness. It isn't so much about working out or the physical image part of it. It's the learning that takes place when you are working out that attracts me most. It is the first phase of a huge life long journey. If you let it anyhow.  It will teach you that if you work for it, it WILL happen. Your effort will reflect your results.  You cannot fail for trying.   I love teaching others the same thing. That is what attracted me to becoming a personal trainer in the first place.

I used to (still do for that matter), notice women walking around looking down all the time. It was impossible to make eye contact with anyone as no one was looking up.  What does that say about that person? Why don't they believe in themselves enough to look the world in the eye and say HI or whatever?  What have we done that women don't seem to possess the confidence they should? 

Women's self esteem takes a constant beating.  Stand in line at a grocery store and just count how many images of women  you see.  Now see how many of them look like you (or me for that matter). Funny, but I don't see any giant jugs on ladies (except for the top row in convenience stores on mag's wrapped in plastic ha ha).  It just doesn't reflect the reality of the world. So why then are so many women obsessed with trying to be who they will never be vs just trying to be their best selves?

This is where my voice comes in.  I hear it telling me to return to the path I once began to travel upon, and look for another way.  I truthfully won't have the luxury of time to train the women I want to. Or rather, I won't sacrifice my evenings or weekends with my kids to do it. So somehow, someway, I need to work towards reaching that audience and balance life.  I know it can be done, it's just the "how" that I am working on.

I have a great job that I am due to return to in six months. Between now and then, I need to work out how I can juggle this calling, my career (which is in the initial stages - after fifteen years I think I have found what I am good at in terms of the office gig), and most importantly, my family.  My hubby and my kids will never take a back seat to anything on my list. They need me just as much as I need them. 

So, what am I doing then? Well first things first. I have to get moi into shape.  And I am, one squat at a time.  I am also starting to do what feels right, thus the second blog.  I trulely believe we are all here to help one another. It isn't about doing things for money, it's about doing things to help people.  So from one mom to another, I've learned a few tricks I'd like to share. If they weren't shared with me in the first place I would still be searching for answers as well.  Thus the second blog. 
Well, it looks like my writing time is up for today. My youngest monkey is chatting it up in her crib. Apparently nap time is over.  Six months old today....where has it gone? Who knows but I'm glad it involves less screaming ha ha ha. I lost decades of life in a matter of months. 

Be well.
Cheers.
N.

I'm staring at the title line trying to think of what to label this one.  "le pooped" crossed my mind...we'll see. Something will come to me as I write this.

There are 46 days left of the first stage of this plan. 60 day plan, 46 to go.  I could create a whole story here about how great this is going, or I can just say.....I'm exhausted.  I'm so tired. I know, working out will give me energy etc. etc. blah blah. I've said it all before to other people who paid me.  Now, now I'm that person sitting on the bench saying "later".  It's like I have two personalities right now. One that lives in this fantasy land of energy, and then the other, which is 900 years old with a 6 month old, a 4yr old and a 5 yr old who thinks she is 13, is running on 3-5 hours sleep daily.  When I lay down on the floor to get into position to do a push up, the one personality says YAY LET"S GO, the other is still lying on the floor controlling my body.  I am trying. Walks are good.  I feel pumped after a good brisk walk. But that is really all I can handle some days, most days these days.   When I do more, I'm so achey. My diet is good, it's the lack of sleep. I'm not recovering well.

My hubby is working from 8am - 10 ishy in the pm weekdays, as well as, Saturdays. Ask me how  much I'm loving that right now.  He is self employed.  Need I say more?

It was the Canadian Thanksgiving this past weekend. The weather was unbelievable. Honestly, miraculous.  The air was so clean and crisp. Sitting in T-shirts and shorts in October - unreal.  My gardens are still blooming. It's amazing. It was still the traditional pig-out fest, just add extra cocktails in the afternoon sun and that pretty much sums up what we did. It was fantastic. I enjoyed every moment consuming thousands and thousands of calories. 

I saw this earlier today.  Made me chuckle. 

Anyhow, the mission continues. 46 days to go.  My little ones have just both co-operated and are taking a nap. I'm going to sneak one in too. 

The Dumbass Effect

As we travel along this path together there are a few things you will notice about me....a few constants. There are many things that change or evolve over time, and many that...well....are just me.  I am completely an addictive/compulsive personality, and, I am very competitive. Even with myself. I am not a sore loser or anything like that, losing just makes me work harder.  It's just, I do everything I can in advance of that moment not to lose.

So let's rewind to earlier this week when I was a dumbass with my TRX.  I felt fantastic in that moment. I absolutely love any form of resistance training. Weight training was my personal favorite. There are so many moves using this thing that make it feel as it did when I was using weights.  And now, now I hurt in ways I haven't hurt in a very long time.  My 15lb munchkin feels like five hundred tons and I have serious lactic acid burn like sensations while trying to hold her. I went way over board. My quads feel completely jacked, triceps cramped, ass - well........sitting is unappealing. Sitting than rising, even less appealing.  I'm going to lie down in a minute. The kids are all asleep and my hubby is doing his weekly work-out at hockey.  He skipped the TRX..... and so to ensure he never uses my current condition as cause to bypass a workout, I acted as though nothing was wrong all day. I'm so f'ng tired right now...
On a shallow note. I saw this jacket I really would love to sport this winter. It has a belt. I loathe belts at the moment. When you have giant mom boobs, you don't wear anything with a belt.  The boobs look like torpedos.  I have my shallow side, it involves this jacket....with a belt.

Monday Madness....

So here I am, in my two hour "break" as the other mum's and I call it, and totally demotivated.  It's been three days since I've slept and, well, the baby just had an ass explosion in her exersaucer. SOOOOO after an emergency bath and dismantling of the saucer for cleaning, I'm not really feeling a workout at the moment. I've got a cup of coffee, the baby monitor (and yes, she's screaming in it again - but she's fed, changed, burped, sung to, cuddled, played with and now watching her mobile in her crib - and yet, still she's pissy) and my computer.  Thinking today may be the kind of day wherein if I can pull off a shower, I'm groovin...!

My hubby cracked a joke that he has not, in our six years of marriage, witnessed me do anything athletic. I was totally dumbfounded. What? I played on sports teams, rollerbladed, trained six days weekly, competed, bike rode.... but all without him. How crazy is that? And now, six years and three kids later, he seriously has never seen me do anything? What have I been doing all these years? Breeding! That's what! And anytime I could find time to do anything, it was without him.  I still can't believe it.  Being physical is such a big part of who I am...how did this happen?  And if he isn't seeing it, are the kids? Will they want to be fit because we are? At this rate, nope.  How depressing. I don't want to be one of those mom's who has a photo album full of what she used to do vs still is doing. I want to be an example.

Once upon a time when I cracked a joke about my hubby not having ever worked out, he ran for forty five minutes on my treadmill. That was a few years ago, and was his one workout. So starting tonight, and as he is complaining of backaches (and I joked he has man boobs - which he doesn't but was playfully talking about the bods we once had vs do today), he is motivated to start using my TRX system.  I am a huge fan of these workouts.  SO maybe I will just join him weekly (I should mention that he believes playing hockey once weekly keeps him in excellent shape - so TRX on mondays, hockey on thursdays and voila - he will be fit - according to him). We can do this together.  We'll see what he thinks of my plan tonight, and what bambino thinks. Who am I kidding, she is really the one controlling my availability!! So maybe I need to go sweet talk her...if only she will allow me to interupt her screaming...

The starting line.

I have this old beat up leather business card/note pad thing that has been sitting on my shelf for years. It holds within it my log, my measuring tape and my pen. It's all my measurements over the years as I tracked myself working out. Before I begin each new regiment I measure myself. I don't use scales. Weight isn't an accurate way of tracking your progress. Muscle weighs more than fat and your number on the scale changes so often it can be discouraging. I go by inches.
Anyhow, I made a decision. I ripped out everything before today and chucked it.  I flipped through it and looked at some of my past measurements and remember how I felt when I hit certain targets over the years. And then, I pitched it.  I am not who I was then.  My body is definately what it was then.  Since then I have given birth to giant babies.  My smallest was 9lbs, my largest 9lbs 13 .5oz.  My hips have changed, and, SIGH, my boobs.

Everyone has that body part that they are not so fond of. For me, le boobs.  Motherhood has not been kind to them.  They grew so fast and so large some thought I had enhancement.  If I did have enhancement, they'd be sitting in an entirely different region of my chest right now! I joke that when I finally do deflate these puppies, they are not going to be pretty. Not that they are now, it's just going to get a lot uglier. Ahh well, back to the main subject at hand here. The log.

Re; the bod... the goals.
First, reduce the chest. Current measurement is, in inches, 38.
Second, build muscle & power ( specifically, I want to be able to lift and push my own weight with ease - push ups, pull ups...)
Third: reduce the post-partum puff. I want a strong core, and not to look pregnant anymore. I do not want to see my six pack, but I do want a tight tummy with strong obliques and no muffin top. To get those abs there are sacrifices that must be made. And, well, now that I am a parent, there is no way I can give up my wine.  There are many a days that my hubby and I relax by the fire with a bottle of wine after a crazy day with the kids.  It's worth never seeing my pack again.

For the first sixty days my goals are; to lose 2" off my stomach, measured around the belly button (this is, for the most part, the post-partum puff as I call it. I would like to end my relationship with it.  It's been almost six years now....I'm ready to let go), starting measurement is 34", as well as, 1" off the chest.

The balance of the measurements I track are;
Back 33"
Thigh 19"
Hips 37"
Bicep 10.5
Weight: not taken. NO scales in the house. Don't intend to buy one.....

I will workout four times weekly. Mon and Tues, rest Wed, Thurs and Fri.  There may be days that this doesn't work -but at least 4x / wk on weekdays. Weekends are out. I like playing with the kids. We stay active/busy but it's our play time. And we like baking together. One treat a weekend and pigging out with my hubby in the evening - we have snack night. That is staying in the regiment as well. It's just one of those things we like to do and it's not going anywhere.  Tostito's, hot peppers, salsa, cheese = awesomness.

Week one went pretty good. I am feeling positive about everything. I know I can do this. It's just incredible how your body remembers things. That said, it's also incredible how weak and unco-ordinated I am all these years later. I used to be able to do multiple sets of pull-ups (unassisted), now, I just hang from the bar sweating.  I used to be able to do one-legged push-ups and what not, now,  one or two push ups off the toe, the balance off the knees. Following cardio DVD's I can't seem to make my legs move as they should....But I will get my groove back and find my rythm.  At the very least my doing these DVD's entertains my screamer. She laughs vs yells. Win win for Mum!

So now that week one is over, I'm looking forward to week two!

The Big Plan

So here we are, day three in the big plan.  What is this plan you ask? Well, this time around as I am determined to reach my goal...it is mapped out, and specific.

Previously my attempts were sabatoged by pregnancies. That is not happening this time around! This time around the only thing that will prevent me from reaching my target is, well, me. Me and my screaming baby. She bloody well screamed all of our Thursday away. I can't figure out what it is that is upsetting her, she's fed, burped, changed, played with, carried around.  My efforts don't seem to calm her. So while she screamed and screamed yesterday my workout didn't unfold as planned. It was supposed to be a P90x day, however, instead, became a speed walk in our neighbourhood. She screamed in her stroller as we cruised the streets and I managed to squeeze in a good cardio session. Win win for Mum! Like I said, I'm determined, but definetly going to need a lot of flexibility and more healthy foods already prep'd in the fridge. Days like yesterday lead to my grabbing anything I can, regardless of nutritional intake, so I can stuff my face while holding el cranko.  AND what doesn't help? Tostitos. I love Tostitos. And they make me feel good (um yes, I am an emotional eater ha ha) when she is screaming in my face.  SO my fabulous cardio session was essentially wiped out by a handful of Tostitos.  I had to chuck them to stop myself. I won't/can't buy more.

SO back to my specific game plan. I am following a method, the SMART method. Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound.  I specifically want to lose inches (will add my current measurements and goals to these blogs),  measurable - constantly, achievable -definitely, realistic - it's going to take months vs days and/or weeks and time bound. I have goals in sixty day intervals. Specific hurdles I want to reach.

The first sixty days are going to be all about me getting into my groove. I am fairly brain dead these days due to lack of sleep and juggling the kids ( I am solo most of the time - hubby works six days/wk and i do not have any help with my monkeys). SO following videos and just walking/biking etc.  I can't think so weight training solo - not going to happen. Just listening to Billy tell me he wants my heart and soul while I kick and punch - all good.  I am a little stronger than I expected to be at the onset, but attribute that to my insconsistant summer workouts. I couldn't pull off anything consistantly while the kids were home full-time but did what I could when I could (TRX is a personal favorite -s o many varieties of workouts you can do). Feeling good about that, has me starting off on a positive :)

I've written on my calendar my time-lines, smeared sticky notes around reminding me of my goals, and, well, am spilling myself to you.  This is what it takes for me to get my ars in gear.

AND on that note, it's time to walk back to the school to pick up my eldest.  And as my son lies here beside me trying to push buttons and singing LOUDLY in my ear, I think he is trying to tell me something ha ha.  Clearly he has had enough of my blogging today...so for now I bid thee adieu.  I will post the measurements either tonight or tomorrow and finish the detailed game plan.

Day one, week 23

So for twenty three weeks now I was going to get this started.  There have been many "day one's" and yet somehow it took twenty three weeks of them to get this done.  Thus my "and so it begins"...as at last, it finally does!

So what is she talking about you wonder? I am twenty three weeks post-partum with bambino numero three.  Based on my experiences with the first two, I thought for sure that after birth there would be a few brutal sleep deprived weeks, and then sunny skies from there on in (so to speak). So not the way this all unfolded!

Allow me to back up.  Once upon a time in a far off land, I was a fitness competitor.  It feels like centuries ago. I can barely pull off a full set of push-ups without cheating these days. So after having delivered my third and FINAL child (you will see why I say this shortly), I thought to myself "this is it. Time to shrink the momma boobs! Tighten the puff and eliminate muffin top!"
It all started smoothly. I hadn't gained much weight this pregnancy. I actually lost weight at the onset and didn't gain it back.  It was a healthy pregnancy, I was just carrying excess from my prior pregnancies.  So I thought YES, THIS IS IT! It's gunna happen.

I began creating my training program ( I was a personal trainer prior to my first pregnancy),  mapped out my eating plans...it was ready for launch.  Until, my newborn, my sweet sweet newborn, became a screaming demon for months on end. It was colic they say, "textbook". Except the books lied. They said by twelve weeks this should all go away and life will become manageable again. By thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and sixteen weeks I was starting to feel like a basket case. My nerves were shot, I looked like shit and this child would look me in the face and then scream like I just ripped her legs off. Nothing I did could console her.

And so my big plan sat on a shelf and collected dust.  Slowly my weight started to creep back up as I ate anything I could while holding a screaming child.  After months I began inhaling entire rows of cookies while holding my screaming baby to console myself.  And now, for some unexplainable reason completely foreign to me, twenty three weeks after her arrival, she smiles.  She still screams, but only an hour or two at a time. I can handle that!! My facial ticks are diminishing, my nerves moderately calmer and my two older kids (5 and 4 yrs of age), are now willing to stay in the same room as the baby. Thank God, all Gods, I am so grateful for the silence!

My son is in JK, half days. Mornings specifically. This gives me 2 hours to feed the baby and do what I need to do for me. This is going to be my workout time. It started today, with a little Billy Blanks and his SOS DVD.  I sweat like a pig and couldn't believe how unco-ordinated I have become. My daughter thought I was hilarious.  And I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!  Nothing has changed physically in my one work-out, but I feel like it should. And it will, all in due time.

This is my blog about my journey on route to re-claiming my fit self.  It will happen, one push up at a time!